Explosions and candlelight
by Thera Dratara
Summary: Deidara has found new love, Itachi is among the akatsuki who observe how romantic the blond man can be.OneShot, OC, Parody


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or any of it's components. However, the young lady mentioned isn't part of canon.

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It wasn't often that they met up in person with Sasori and Deidara, or just any of the other Akatsuki, so it wasn't unusual for them('Them' being Deidara and Kisame) to swap out more trivial news with each other, which were unsuitable for the holographic conferences they had far more often. 

Among learning about Kakuzu's new partner and the reduction of the prize of black nail-polish, Itachi also found out that Deidara had been wooing someone. According to Sasori, it was a girl like a finely made doll. "I would love to add her to my collection" Sasori had said wistfully. But Itachi figured he wouldn't, or at least not until Deidara had gotten bored of her.

Deidara himself had this big goofy grin on his face, and didn't quite look like he was there at the moment.

"Ah, young love." Kisame commented later on, "Well Itachi, when will it be your turn?"  
Itachi just gave his companion a creepy neutral look, effectively shutting him up.

Later that day, Deidara came to see them: "C'Mon, there's something I want to show you, 'kay?"

And while Itachi had a good idea of what it would be, he felt reluctance to follow him. After all, they were busy practising their own art, the art of training(Or in Kisame's case, the art of 'reading a book while avoiding being used as practise target by Itachi', he often complained about it, but Itachi couldn't help it. Kisame was the hardest to hit, and therefore the best practise target.) and training wasn't something Itachi liked to interrupt. Kisame however, seemed eager to end training for some reason, and ushered Itachi to follow the blond man.

After some jumping around(they were ninjas after all), Deidara had led them to what seemed to be an old(Or at least, Itachi hoped it was) crater.  
In the centre of the crater, there were big wooden boxes, piled up randomly, next to them, a young lady with the prettiest appearance Itachi had ever seen. Her skin was so fair, making it seem like it was made of rice-paper, and her hair was as if a heavenly calligrapher had made his brush flow along her skull down to her back.

The pretty lady waved at them, and next him, Deidara waved back, goofy grin firmly in place.  
Then he turned back to Kisame and Itachi. "You two go stand over there, 'kay?" he said, pointing his finger in the direction of another figure, which Itachi recognised as Sasori.

While they joined Sasori, who was observing the scene, Deidara jumped(or rather, ninja-skipped) toward his young lady in blue, and greeted her affectionately.  
"A finely crafted doll indeed." Kisame said, "I wonder how a guy like him found such a jewel."  
"We're artists," replied Sasori monotonously, as if it were an obvious fact, "finding and creating beauty is our second nature."  
"Blowing it up too?"  
Itachi earned a glare from that one, it was common knowledge among the Akatsuki that even though Sasori and Deidara got along, they were the severest critics of each other's believes, so he shouldn't be surprised.

After a while of seeing Deidara and the girl frolicking around, doing something with the boxes, Kisame seemed to get bored and was rummaging through his backpack he brought along. At first Itachi thought he was going to pick out a book, but found himself mistaken when Kisame took their kettle a stalked away, leaving him with Sasori.

After what seemed an hour of utter silence between him and Sasori, Itachi received a nudge from Kisame, who had returned with two cups filled with an incredibly sweet smelling tea.

How attentive of him.

After another fifteen minutes of watching Deidara frolic around(he had tied the girl to one of the boxes, and she was curiously watching him too) the blond man turned around waving at them.

He didn't get any waves back...

Deidara then turned back to the pile, made some distance, and started doing hand seals.

Next to him, Itachi heard Kisame mutter something along the lines of 'poor girl'.  
He couldn't help but agree with him.

The next moment, the sound a loud bang filled the air, accompanied by a large orchestra of explosions and flashes coming from the pile of boxes.  
Debris was flying around, and Itachi heard a splashing sound, as well as a large thud next to him.

When he looked next to him, he found Sasori wearing a rice-paper-white arm, of which the splintered bone had gotten stuck in his wooden forehead.  
Deidara, who had been thrown into the air because of the explosion, landed next to Sasori, his face black with dirt. "Well, what do you think of that, huh?" He said proudly.  
"You added extra magnesium in those boxes on the right." Replied Kisame.  
Deidara got an exited expression on his face: "You noticed!" he shouted.  
Itachi looked thoughtfully at the smoking pile of rubble.  
Sasori, who had remained silent, spoke: "Why did you blow up your girlfriend again, Deidara?"  
Deidara looked insulted "I didn't blow her up, I wanted her to have the best seat when experiencing my art." He said.  
"Right, but she did blow up at some point, considering I have her arm stuck in my forehead" Sasori said in a loud tone, nearly yelling.

Deidara removed the pale arm from the forehead of his partner. "Well, of course she blew up, sitting on exploding explosives does that to you." He said examining the arm, "But at least she blew up experiencing something great!" he continued, waving the arm around as if it proved his point.

Then Sasori started ranting about how he shouldn't have blown her up, and that it was such a waste of beauty, and Deidara started arguing back, saying that he would find it a honour to die like that, and that wasting away in a museum was the true waste.

Itachi sipped his tea again, but this time he didn't taste a sweet tea, but rather a metallic taste.  
Looking at his cup, he saw a human finger floating around in it, colouring his tea a vibrant red.

He received another nudge from behind.

Kisame held out his teacup to him.  
And while it was already half-empty, and not even that hot any more, Itachi accepted the teacup from his partner.

How attentive of him.

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**Author's Note:**  
This was inspired by a rant at the Fanficrants community at live-journal dealing with Deidara and how some people tend to forget how he likes to blow up things, and specifically WHY he likes to.  
Razing Ragnarok chapter two is finished, but it needs to be typed up(I write that fic by hand first). I must say, one-shots like these are far easier to make then multi-chapter fics, not just because of the writing load, but also because multi-chapter fics need to be continuous with not only canon but also themselves.(And really, with Razing Ragnarok, I find myself rereading game-scripts and breakthroughs, as well as biographies at several sites, just to get that one sentence uttered by that obscure character right, or to find that one battle-chip.) This fic however, was typed up in only a few hours though... 

Oh well, please tell me what you think about it!


End file.
